Comics! Immortal Combat in the JSA!

It wasn't peppery young Elmo nor yet our archnemesis Pepito who provided us with the fourth issue of Geoff Johns' relaunch of Justice Society of America - it was instead our smart, laid-back (and, not incidentally, pretty damn funny) young friend Mr. Allison, who seemed impressed by the issue (Elmo had already warned us that the issue was a 'feast').

And feast it certainly is - Johns again demonstrates a beautiful sense of pacing and character. He's completely wrong for a big, sprawling team book, but watching him try so hard to prove otherwise is worth the price of admission every issue.

And he's not afraid of the epic, either - he shares that with Brad Meltzer over in Justice League. There, a newly-intelligent Solomon Grundy uses a sooped up Amazo to attack the Justice League; here, Vandal Savage uses crews of super-powered Nazis to attack the descendents of the original Justice Society. Both are great big ambitious plots, and both writers fail them miserably.

Hard, without an abacus handy, to even count all that's wrong with this Justice Society issue. Dale Eaglesham's artwork is wonderful as always, but it's hampered by a choreography that sucks like a sump-pump.

Take the opening combat between Vandal Savage and Wildcat's kitty-cat young son (can we have a moratorium, please, on cat-based superheroes? Every single last one of them - most certainly including this new one, ripped from four panels of 'Kingdom Come' - are unbearably lame-ass): in one panel, the two of them are squared off face to face. In the next panel, Kitty-cat is leaping over Savage's left shoulder from behind. And so on and so forth (there isn't a panel of the Wildcats/Savage fight that makes a lick of sense).

Or take the Blue Valley scene, in which a detachment of the JSA rescues a bunch of civilians from a bunch of the Nazi super-villains dispatched by Vandal Savage. Has a lamer sooper-battle ever been contrived in a modern comic? There's a super-speed battle between the Flash and 'Baroness' Blitzkrieg that's more boring to look at than two pensioners playing chess in Central Park, but there's not much else.

And that doesn't hold a candle to the other set-piece of the issue, the confrontation in Philadelphia between another squad of the JSA and an even bigger batch of super-powered Nazis (one of whom is a super-powered version of a TOPLESS BISMARCK ... an idea that could ONLY have made sense while the Johns was deeply, philosophically stoned). Yeesh, what a disaster. Here the artwork is at its most static, and with its most crippling lack of credibility. Captain Nazi opens the sequence by hurling the Liberty Bell at a hapless group of civilians. He's duly chastised for this by our very own useless heroine Liberty Belle, right before Hawkman and Green Lantern engage with this Captain Nazi in close-on combat. That fight should by rights last an entire issue (and end only one way), but here it's over after a page, and it happens OFF PANEL. In the meantime, Damage blows up the fat Bismarck-guy and accidentally catches useless little Liberty Belle in the concussion. She very melodramatically falls down, but she's back on her feet, apparently unharmed, in four panels. The new useless Hourman helps her up, and he and she and Damage have a nice cozy little chat right there in the heat of battle, just as we see a trim and healthy Captain Nazi tossing aside an unconscious Hawkman and Green Lantern. This patent piece of silliness is done only to set up a face-to-face confrontation between Damage and Captain Nazi. Just as the evil Nazi is taunting Damage about his disfigured appearance, he's finally struck down - not by Hawkman, the seven-thousand-year-old warrior-hero, and not by Green Lantern, one of the most powerful beings in the DC universe ... nope, by useless little Liberty Belle THROWING THE LIBERTY BELL at him. So remember that, the next time you're facing a super-powered Nazi: when battle-maces and energy-rings fail, just hit him with a cracked, 260-year-old BELL.

But the biggest problem with this issue is also its biggest strength: Vandal Savage.

Mr. Allison isn't the only comic-reader we've known who puts his finger right on it: Vandal Savage is a seriously kick-ass villain. It's odd that DC, with its long and rich history, doesn't have more of these, but in this as in so many things, much depends on the execution. There's Lex Luthor, of course, but the whole gimmick of villain-as-respected-businessman only works for limited time (although the current run of DC continuity - most certainly including the latest twists and turns over in '52' - has milked it a wonderfully long time). And there's Darkseid for the epic dimension, although even thirty years ago, Keith Giffen in 'Ambush Bug' was keen to how easily the character can be tipped into parody. And there's the Joker, easily DC's most complex and compelling villain (the only one the other villains should be afraid of ... in other words, the villain-equivalent of Batman), although the number of DC writers over the years who've been able to convey that can be counted on the fingers of one hand (and that number certainly won't be increased by the next Batman movie, Heath Ledger being a literally incomprehensible casting choice).

But Vandal Savage? He's the serpent in DC's garden of Eden - an immortal who's been around since the birth of mankind, EVIL the whole time (the corresponding good guy, Immortal Man, was always a wuss by comparison and proved it by DYING in the first Crisis, the tool). No superpowers to speak of, although tough as nails, and most of all, embodying every time the intangible quality of COOL. Meltzer over in Justice League chose brute force - Grundy and Amazo - over that element (ironically enough, one of the prime candidates for that category in the DC universe is Doctor Destiny, who makes a surprise appearance at the end of this very JSA issue), but Johns clearly had the peculiar generational nature of the JSA in mind when he picked a villain who's seen the team in all its incarnations (this could also be said for Per Degaton and the Ultra-Humanite, but to say the least, they both lack the aforementioned cool factor).

The problem is, Vandal Savage should be unbeatable. The only way to make him NOT unbeatable is to indadvertently make him ridiculous, which is what happens in this issue. He boasts of starting world wars, of being the power behind Hitler, of discovering fire - but what's he DOING while he's boasting of all this? Breaking crockery in a tiny kitchen fighting Wildcat's gay kitty-cat bastard son. Cue the ridiculous.

Vandal Savage should be unbeatable because ANY immortal would be. If you want to eliminate the next generation of the Justice Society, you don't send stupid-ass Nazi death-squads to ambush them at family reunions; you pay a drug addict $20 to plow a car through an intersection and flatten them when they're five. You pay an orderly $2000 to pinch an IV when the next generation is in its cradle. Against an enemy who implaccably hates you and who has forever to do it, mortals - no matter how brave or powerful they might be in the maturity between their helpless infancy and their defenseless old age - cannot possibly win. If you make Vandal Savage that implaccable, undying enemy, you create a story with only one plausible ending.

Needless to say, pinched IV's are not the stuff of four-color comics, so this issue has dorkus-malorkus Nazi death-squads and Vandal Savage fighting a kitty-cat in a kitchen and eventually getting hit by a truck (guess the one thing he didn't learn in 100,000 years was to LOOK BOTH WAYS). So a carefully-laid and meticulously-crafted plan to eliminate the Justice Society fails because some guy gets hit by a bell and some other guy gets hit by a truck. And for this Johns gets to call himself a writer.

And yet, and yet ... the issue, the whole storyline, has been FUN, something that's certainly missing over in Justice League. And with the promise of Legion activity right around the corner (Dream Girl AND Lightning Lord on the last page!), it looks fair to KEEP being fun. We here at Stevereads will certainly be there to see.

Comics! 52 and JSA!

Poor, mucus-sludged Elmo could only muster strength enough to feebly hand over two comic books this week, but oh! what a pair of comics they were!

The first of them was the latest issue of 52, which certainly cemented in my mind the truth of Elmo's earlier assertion that this title is the best thing currently going in comics. This issue is nothing less than epic in its scope and pace, and that would be marvel enough in a MONTHLY book ... it's nothing short of miraculous in something being put out every week.

This issue has it all - sprawling, epic Green Lantern-style cosmic action (and the welcome addition of a A-level super-baddie to the ranks, the power ring-chomping Lady Styx), intimate mustache-twirling evil from Lex Luthor, and the YET AGAIN death of Captain Comet (as all true comics fans know, our Holy Writ - i.e. "Kingdom Come" - the good Captain dies well in the future of our current continuity .... hence this issue's whole bit about 'jettsoning' his 'primary consciousness' ...).

Of course the issue's central knot is the great mass of clues offered us as to the identity of Supernova. Previous to this issue, we here at Stevereads had already taken a guess at the identity of the character ... and this issue's huge amounts of clues confirm our suspicions. There's only one DC character who could possibly be Supernova, and on top of everything there's an indispensible visual clue provided in this issue.

So we here at Stevereads hereby challenge the comic-geeks out there among you: well? You have by now ample clues! Surely one of you has seen the key detail? Surely one of you can tell me who Supernova is? As Ralph Dibny says in this issue, the answer's pretty obvious, once you see it from the right angle.

But as good as '52' was this week, it can't hold a candle to the week's best book, the first issue of the relaunch of 'Justice Society of America.'

The contrast couldn't be any starker, comparing this relaunch with that of the Justice League, which after three issues is already mired in inept, compartmentalized storytelling.

This first issue is a triumph almost from the first page - a triumph not only of plot and artwork (quietly stellar work by Dale Eaglesham) but of balancing the geek-fest wants of old fans with the expository needs of your potential first-issue-attracted new readers. A total stranger to the JSA would be pulled into this issue every bit as fast as a veteran of the last six relaunches.

This is the best JSA relaunch ever! (the only possible superior - and it may not even qualify, technically - would be the first issue of the Roy Thomas/Rich Buckler All-Star Squadron ... but since they've never been collected and happened before all of you were born, I doubt anybody will be able to comment on it). It's got everything: the old guard (Jay Garrick, Wildcat, and Alan Scott, at last back to being called Green Lantern) being saluted by the new (Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman); the rebel-wildcard member, in the form of Damage; the requisite newbie to throw everything into contrast (guess Stargirl has seen too much, so the new newbie is the granddaughter of Ma Hunkle, gifted with her own tornado-y powers); the big mysteries (not only who attacked Mr America - wonderful to see that old character so forcefully revived - but also the new Starman, about whom more later).

And then there's the sweetest pleasure of all with any highly-planned and anticipated first issue: the cover. The artist always knows more about what's coming up than the writer is willing to reveal up front, and it almost always bleeds through.

This time is no different. Some things are obvious: of course Hawkman and Doctor Midnight and the new Johnny Thunder and Mr. Terrific will be on the team, even though they weren't in the issue (although we get a quick description of Mr. Terrific as 'the world's third smartest person' ... I confess, I wasn't immediately sure who the first two are - I assume Batman and Lex Luthor, but if so, THEN what are we saying? That the top honor goes to a BAD guy? Or is there somebody I'm leaving out?)

Other things are less obvious but equally welcome: good to see Power Girl in the picture once and for all (and FINALLY free of her creative quagmire - she's a Kryptonian, and that's that ... no more crapola involving feckin Arion or anybody else), and the presence of Liberty Belle is equally welcome - strong female characters are always a good thing, especially if they're not knock-off derivatives of male characters .... yes, I'm still smarting about that stupid female-Wildcat, but my objections apply across the board, up to and most certainly including any version of Supergirl.

But the sweetest things on the cover are the most mysterious. For instance, who is this person in the garb of the original Sandman? And to whom to those mysterious eyes belong, hovering over Wildcat's shoulder (I know, I know - the easy answer is Obsidian, but what if it ends up being something more interesting?)?

And then there's Starman! Of course those of you who know me could predict that this little strand would magnetize me attention: it's Legion! It connects one end of the DC superhero continuity to the other, and in SUCH a delicious way, since of course it's the JSA that holds claim to the 'star-somebody' title.

Because the new Starman featured in this issue is, as all you comic-geeks out there know, wearing the uniform of the Starboy who's a flght ring-carrying member of the Legion of Super-Heroes (well, except for that unfortunate homicide trial, but you've all forgotten that...). Thom Kallor, whose Dave Cockrum-redesigned costume (rest in peace, big guy - you pressed the 'reset' button on a whole lot of imaginations, and you did it all with an unfailing sense of humor ... you will be missed) is identical to that of our new mystery-hero. And that new mystery hero, when he plucks a plummeting helicopter out of the sky, comments 'it looked heavier' - a direct nod to Starboy's mass-changing powers.

And there are the coming attractions! The coming attractions, in which someone clearly Dawnstar (the tassles - and the mention of 'tracking' - give it away, if the wing-feather backdrop didn't) vows to find Starman - not Star BOY, so we-all are taunted with the sliver of a great big cross-time storyline, one featuring not only our JSA stalwarts but a version of an ADULT legion ....

Well, as admitted, the issue largely bears on card-carrying comic-geeks. But it allows newcomers (I know, I know - there aren't any of you out there, in all likelihood) to hop on board without feeling like complete feebs.

So there you have it! A very good (albeit slim) week in comics! But you're right: what would a comics-entry be without a couple of QUIZZES for the rest of you ignore and Kevin to egregiously fail? So here goes:

First - the whole Supernova identity-puzzle put us in mind of this; quick (and, as always, without Google) - name me five superheroes who temporarily masqueraded as OTHER superheroes, and of course include both code-names in each case (and, if you want to show the whole blogosphere how clever you are, feel free to add the REASON for the substitution).

Second, this first issue of Justice Society, while excellent, contains one enormous ERROR, continuity-wise. Can you spot it? And if so, can you explain WHY it's so enormous?

Now let's all gather out on the patio for cocktail weiners while Kevin hunches over with his head in his hands, periodically uttering high-pitched keening sounds ....